The Journal Of Paranoia

2007 in reflection

2007-12-31T12:56:03Z

Yep, it's that time of the year again where I reflect on the past year - the good, the bad and the plain ugly!

It's always strange reading the previous years post. I think in alot of respects, it's been one of those years that could've been soooo much better. But on the same token, alot of things simply couldn't have been helped.

It's been a trying year with my gran. She went into a home in March, which proved to be the wrong home on so many levels. By the time summer hit she was so thin and lethergic that mum was expecting a call through the night to say she'd passed away. BUT she managed to get her into another home and things have improved with her health-wise, just not her head unfortunately. Sometimes she's fine, other times she isn't. She appears to now fully understand that she's there on a permenant basis. Her dementure is getting worse. She knows things, and it you prompt her enough she'll give the right answer to what she's asked so it is all there. Weight-wise she put some on, but I certainly noticed a weightloss again last week.

Home life is ... ok. Could be better but it's better then what it has been. Yes I'm still wanting to move out, which I'm really hoping will be by the end of 2009. My debts have also been fully paid off, which I'm actually quite proud of. The only person I owe money too is my dad on his credit card, but I'm keeping track of that and making sure I've got the money to fully pay it off every month. I did stupidly apply for a CC myself and got one, but that was chopped up and returned within a couple of days.

There's so many things this year that seems to have dragged me down, and I seem to have been on a downer for most of the year.

BUT on the upside it's been good in the respect that I've had so many laughs! Spending time with Julie and Steve around Easter was great, probably the best holiday I've had in years. Had a great time in Yarmouth and have seen Michael Bolton, Mika, Jason Donovan, Stereotonics and Terrorvision. Wimbledon was also fantastic and the panto has been brilliant. Also finally got my arse into gear and went to Whitby for a few days ... how I love that town!

Thought I'd post a few photos whilst I think on:

Bournemouth

Wimbledon

Great Yarmouth

Bryan in Sheffield

with Jason Donovan in Manchester

So what will 2008 bring??

Well, it's been my intention for quite some time to see Aerosmith in America and next year I WILL do it! I've joined the fan club today so phase 1 (as I like to call it) is now complete. At the end of January I'm starting my new job, which I can't wait for. I've also got tickets for panto (again), The Almighty, The Wedding Singer, Michael Bolton and Jason Donovan. Not forgetting the world tour of Extreme .. way too long in the waiting :) I'd also like to at least attempt to head over to Belgium to visit Heidi and Dana, even if it's only for a few days.

What are my plans for 2008?? I really need to take more care of myself, which I don't do often enough. I'd like to join the gym and also really need to lose some weight - whether I'll actually get myself motivated enough to do either remains to be seen!! Above all I want to actually enjoy muself!! Finger crossed 2008 will be a good year.

I'd like to wish everyone a very happy new year. I hope 2008 is what you are all hoping for.

New Year reflection

2006-12-31T17:37:24Z

Here we are again, the end of another year. Reading my post last year, 2006 has pretty much been like 2005 on many fronts. As this is a public post, there's many things I can't go into. Some of you will know more things then others, but lets see what can be covered.

I don't really know where to start, so many things have happened this year. There's been some things I've been ecstatic about, other things I've been ashamed about.

I didn't exactly handle things well with David, which is a regret I've had until recently. Seeing how things have turned out with Angela has made me realise just how much I needed to get him out of my life. Hopefully this will bring some closure to it all, although I was still on edge when going though Leeds the past few days. I so hope this will die down, I love Leeds and don't want to get to a situation where I'm too anxious to head in for a shopping trip or night out with friends. Someone else I didn't exactly handle things well with was Claire, but we do seem to have battled through it. I guess I'll learn someday to actually approach people with things before leaving things too late.

Something I have learnt this year is just who I can and can't trust friends-wise. This is something that I seem to learn every year, I just rarely seem to judge people right. I've been left disappointed with so many people, some situations really hurt. I appreciate that some of the stuff that's happened this year couldn't be helped, but there were so many things that could've been.

But on the flip side .. this year has also been brilliant. I've had one of the best summers since I was at college .. which is going back a few years. So many memories that I'm going to treasure ... Leeds night out, Def Leppard, Take That, Luan's Hen Weekend/night out. Then outside the summer there's been The Almighty, Ricky Warwick, Chesney Hawkes, Gary Barlow, my 30th and Sarah & Sean getting engaged. Christmas has been really good (all things considering), though the past few days could've been better ... C'est le Vie.

Songs for 2006? There are so many I had in my head, but I've forgotten them so here are the ones I've remembered ....
Christina Aguileria - Fighter
Caprice - Once Around The Sun
Def Leppard - 20th Century Boy
Take That - Patience

There's a few photos I wanted to share too ...

Ricky Warwick, Nottingham in January

Take That, Manchester in May

with Jilly & Claire enjoying champers at Square, Leeds in June

Def Leppard, London in June

"The Bradford Posse" plus Kiplings with Chesney in October

with Gary Barlow, Pudsey in October

in Censsa, Leeds with Ed celebrating my 30th

So as 2006 draw to a close, what have I to look forward to in 2007?

Well, the end of February will see me debt free *WOOT*. I've got 4 concerts already planned - The Bloodhound Gang and Michael Bolton in March, Bryan Adams and Jason Donovan in May. Am a tad nervous about going to The Bloodhound Gang on my own, it is an understatement but I'm sure I'll be fine once I get there (she says hopefully). I'm going to see Michael Bolton with Julie, who I've not seen in YEARS! Infact, we've only met for a few hours in 11½ years, so it's going to be fab. Will also be seeing Steve in April, which I'm really looking forward too. August will see Em & Rick getting married and in September I may be spending a weekend in Blackpool with Julie, depending on if she comes with her parents or not.

Thank you for reading. All comments will be screened, and anonymous comments are disabled (sorry to those of you sent here via my blog on MySpace .. you can comment on there though).

Finally, I'd like to wish everyone a very Happy New Year. I hope 2007 is good for you all.

Friends

2006-10-14T09:55:53Z

In a rare public post, I wanted to share the email below with everyone. It's got alot of truth in it, and the part in bold I think has the most truth to it.

Let's see if you send it back. We all know or knew someone like this!!

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.

His name was Kyle.

It looked like he was carrying all of his books.

I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.

They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.

His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes

My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives."

He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!"

There was a big smile on his face.

It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.

As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.

He said he had gone to private school before now.

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before .

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends

He said yes.

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.

I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.

When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke.

I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.

He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class.

I teased him all the time about being a nerd.

He had to prepare a speech for graduation.

I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak Graduation day, I saw Kyle.

He looked great.

He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.

He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.

He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.

Boy, sometimes I was jealous.

Today was one of those days.

I could see t hat he was nervous about his speech.

So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"

He looked a! t me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.

" Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began

"Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.

He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.

He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

"Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.

Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.

With one small gesture you can change a person's life.

For better or for worse.

God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.

Look for God in others.

You now have two choices, you can:

1) Pass this on to your friends or

2) Delete it and act like it didn't touch your heart.

As you can see, I took choice number 1.

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.

It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND.

If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.

WHEN YOU RECEIVE THIS LETTER, YOU'RE REQUESTED TO SEND IT TO AT LEAST 10 PEOPLE, INCLUDING THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU

Birthday Calculator

2006-07-29T19:46:48Z

This link was emailed through to me today, and I think it's pretty cool :) So I put my birthday in ....

You entered: 11/5/1976

Your date of conception was on or about 13 February 1976 which was a Friday.
You were born on a Friday under the astrological sign Scorpio.
Your Life path number is 3.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 2, 5 & 11.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 4, 7, 8 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2443087.5.
The golden number for 1976 is 1.
The epact number for 1976 is -1.
The year 1976 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/31/1976 and ending 2/17/1977.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Dragon.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Snake; your plant is Thistle.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Tyby, the first month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 12 Heshvan 5737.

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 18 April 1976.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 25 April 1976.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 3 March 1976.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 6 June 1976.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 13 June 1976.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 25 September 1976.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 15 April 1976.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 2 March 1976.

As of 7/29/2006 3:40:19 PM EDT
You are 29 years old.
You are 356 months old.
You are 1,551 weeks old.
You are 10,858 days old.
You are 260,607 hours old.
You are 15,636,460 minutes old.
You are 938,187,619 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Javy Lopez (1970) Tatum O'Neal (1963) Bryan Adams (1959)
Peter Noone (1947) Sam Shepard (1943) Art Garfunkel (1941)
Elke Sommer (1940) Ike Turner (1931) Vivien Leigh (1913)
Roy Rogers (1911) Joel McCrea (1905)

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 4.24970645792564 years old. (You're still chasing cats!)

There are 99 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 30 candles.

Those 30 candles produce 30 BTUs,
or 7,560 calories of heat (that's only 7.5600 food Calories!) .
You can boil 3.43 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1976 there were approximately 3.1 million births in the US.
In 1976 the US population was approximately 203,302,031 people, 57.4 persons per square mile.
In 1976 in the US there were approximately 2,152,662 marriages (10.1%) and 1,036,000 divorces (4.9%)
In 1976 in the US there were approximately 1,921,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1976 the population of Australia was approximately 14,110,107.
In 1976 there were approximately 227,810 births in Australia.
In 1976 in Australia there were approximately 109,973 marriages and 63,230 divorces.
In 1976 in Australia there were approximately 112,662 deaths.

Your birthstone is Citrine
The Mystical properties of Citrine

Citrine is said to help one connect with Spirit.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Yellow Topaz, Pearl, Diamond

Your birth tree is Walnut Tree, the Passion
Unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egoistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromises.

There are 149 days till Christmas 2006!
There are 162 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon's phase on the day you were born was waxing gibbous.

It has to be said, I certainly live upto my Life path number (3) LOL

*EDIT @ 22.35*

Actually, I'm very much like the tree too ... am making this a public post :p

Happy 2nd Birthday :D

2006-07-05T11:56:09Z

I've been writing this post for a few days now, mainly so I can get it right as it's a rare public post.

So, my journal is 2 years old today! I honestly didn't think my blogging would become such a huge part of my life .. neither did I expect to meet some wonderful people on here either *mwah* As I briefly covered my first year last year, I thought I'd just cover the past 12 months.

It's been one of the biggest rollercoasters emotionally that I've ever experienced. The highs have been incredible and the lows have been pretty close to rock bottom (though not as close as I've known them).

I think one of the lowest points for me was when Jim was in hospital. During those 2 months he was in there, I found that there are so many kind people in this world. Many of his friends gave me support, some of them I'd never met and some I've only met once. It touched me beyond belief. I also discovered who my friends were too, people who I thought would be there for me through thick and thin. When I approached them afterwards, they simply said that they thought I knew they were there for me. Whilst this may be true, I didn't (and still don't) see why they sat back and said nothing to me when knowing the situation. I'm the sort of person who needs to be shown support when something like this happens, and it's the people who should've known this that seemed to sit back. Maybe it's me that sees things the wrong way when friendship is concerned, but it hurt me in so many ways.

There's also been 4 members of my family have hospital stays too this past year. My aunt had a stroke last October, mum was briefly in just before Christmas with chest pains, my dad has been in twice with an abscess on his stump (for those unaware, he has an artificial leg) and my great uncle went in with cancer. Unfortunately my Great Uncle never came out of hospital, which was a shock to us all as none of us knew he was actually ill until a couple of days before he died.

One of the most life changing events for me was actually my holiday this year. I was in a real mess when I got on the coach to London, but by the time I got to London I knew what I needed to do. During the week I spent away, decisions about my future were made and a small warning on this very journal was made letting people know that there could be some upset over the coming weeks. Looking back, I don't think many people took much notice of it at the time. 2 songs helped out a great deal on the journey down. Color Me Badd's I Remember and a Journey South cover version of I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For ... it really opened my eyes to things in my life and how I was living things. So I come back home, give it a week and the first change is made ....

I bid my friendship to David a farewell. It was something that I knew I needed to do before my holiday, but the break gave me what I needed to go through with it. It was far from an easy decision to carry through, but as my email to him (and subsequent post) said .. I felt that we had different ideas of friendship and that the difference between us had become too much. It also turns out that this was taken the wrong way and that I'd apparently placed the blame onto him. As this is a public post I will make this clear now .. THIS IS NOT THE CASE! I'm not blaming him for it at all and I'm not really blaming myself either. I don't believe that blame lies with either party all the time, it was the whole situation ... the history that was affecting the present. I'm not going to go into any further details on this, the internet isn't the place. I had my chance to go into detail with him and I didn't do it .. on the same token the offer was made for him to hear me out and it was taken up (which I don't blame him for). Do I regret doing it? No, I regret not going into more detail but don't regret walking away. Do I miss him? Can't really answer this one as it's not that black and white ... I wonder how he's doing, what he's getting up to and ... well, the rest is for me to know. But there's aspects of the time we knew each other that I don't miss. The whole friendship has actually made me a stronger person, a changed person ... not sure if these are for the better or not, but time will tell.

Fast forwarding a few weeks comes to the end of May and my decision to call things a day with Jim. He'd been on holiday and I realised over those few weeks that my feelings towards him weren't as they should be. That was tough news to deliver but was for the best. Some things you can't ignore and your feelings towards someone is one of those things. We're still friends, still chat online and talk on the phone ... I guess when your good friends to start with then it's easier to carry on with that. I'm really looking forward to August too when I go to London to spend time with him.

So what have the highlights been I hear you all ask! Where would you like me to start??

There was the wicked Terrorvision gig in Sheffield last August! That was one helluva night and so fab to see the lads, finally meet _mysteria_ & freakspawn ... and naturally meeting the band afterwards too :D October saw probably the best Chesney gig I've been too in Leeds .. naturally the highlight there was grabbing his arse not once but twice (ooh, I'm so naughty .. but he wasn't complaining!). January saw my first "2 gigs in 2 days" experience with The Almighty in London & Ricky Warwick in Nottingham .. man was I knackered after that one! But it was well worth it, especially meeting Ricky again *sigh* Next gigs were Take That .. first one on May 4th and second one on May 22nd - they were fan-bloody-tastic and I'm sooo pleased now that I got the chance to go. June 3rd found me in Leeds for my Diabetes UK walk and night out. That was a fantastic day/night .. and raising £200 helped too. Next, of course, was the Def Leppard weekend - has to be the highlight of the year so far!! Last on my list was Luan's Hen Weekend, which is actually a first for me as I've never been on one before.

There's a few friends I want to thank too for helping make this past year so memorable. Dawn, Sarah P, Sarah G, Char, Cheryl, Martin, Steve and the people below .....

Lee for just being him (photo taken at the Whitby Goth Weekend)

_mysteria_ & freakspawn for a great night at Terrorvision

Jilly & Claire for some memorable nights out and for being great mates

Jim for just being one sound guy

Songs to describe the past year?? Well, there's many but the ones that stand out are:

James - Laid
Drowning Pool - Sermon
U2 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

So what's the next 12 months going to hold?? Well, there's some firsts ahead of me .... my first Rugby League match in a few weeks with Martin, my first visit to Jongleurs for my 30th and possible my first Kite Fest/Fly-in in August. Also got a weekend away in Birmingham with Jilly to look forward to and Luan & Dave's wedding do in October. No gigs planned as yet, but no doubt something will crop up and may even end up with a birthday gig this year (am hoping for Def Leppard or Aerosmith LOL).

Here''s to the next 12 months!

FRIENDS ONLY

2006-02-20T20:21:12Z

Credit to lunatic_the_7th for the FO banner

Oooh ... in 2 weeks time :D

2006-02-18T17:32:52Z

Got my coach ticket sorted out this morning to J's ... I go on the night bus on March 3rd from Burnley and come home on the night bus on March 6th :D Already planned to treat each other on the Sunday ... brekkie from be at a local French Pattisarie (if that's how you spell it .... and if it's open) called Sable d'Or and J is treating me to dinner at The Ultimate Burger.

Managed to make it to the Bingo this afternoon too, didn't win anything but was most annoyed at being beaten to a full house on the last game! I had 1 number left to come out to win £150! GRRRR

Chinese for dinner tonight then out to the winter league for me and mum. We're using dad as an excuse to get onto the dart board first tonight in the second round ... we play against each other that round and dad kinda needs help with the stairs.

Feeling guilty

2006-02-16T20:59:26Z

I feel that the past few weeks I've been ignoring my friends. I know it's not really the case, working the hours that I have been the last thing I've wanted to do is spend time in front of the PC. But it still feels like I've not been making any effort (not TOTALLY true, but there is some truth in there).

I've been spending some time online, but not really on messenger. When I have then it's mainly been on Yahoo and not MSN. This is due to there being way too many people on MSN, and if I logged on I'd end up with a number on conversations. So if anyone wants to catch me, then for the forseeable future Yahoo is the place to be! The main people I actually speak to these days are on there anyways (at least have a Yahoo ID, not always logged on there). Those of you not on Yahoo and want/need a chat, then please do email/text/call me and I'll either call you or log onto MSN.

I know that there may look as though there's some double standards going on, and I'm also aware that it may look as though I don't "need" any of my friends now that J is on the scene fully. I know that the people who know me well enough will know the truth, most have known me for long enough. Those that don't understand need to get to know me better I guess.

Right now, I really need to get my head around things at home and get life straight at work. Once the overtime calms right down then I'll have the energy to spend a couple of hours in an evening catching up with friends. I really hope it's sooner rather then later ... I so need my friends for support right now and wish that I didn't need to depend on this machine to keep in touch with them.

Dispite this post seeming like I'm justifying myself, I still feel guilty for maybe not giving them the attention they may need. I know what it feels like and it's not nice.

Well, it's been a long and tiring day. Think I'll grab a shower and watch some TV in bed.

Today ...

2006-02-16T16:52:38Z

...hasn't been as bad as expected.

The funeral was ... well, as nice as these things are. Andrew (George's son) did a wonderful speech and didn't shed a single tear. There was a good turn out, not everyone got into the church. This was catered for by using a PA System outseide the church. For me it was just, well, a funeral I guess. I know it sounds awful but for the most of it I felt really uncomfortable. This is due to me not being very religious and spending time in church where hymns are being sung and prayers are being said makes me feel the way I did (doesn't really hold out much hope for me at Em's wedding next year does it, or Sarah's for that matter if she opts for a church). The crem service was very short and sweet, think we were only in there 5 minutes.

Dad is doing well. He had his op this morning and when we got back home at 3.30pm he was in bed sat up. He won't be able to wear his leg for 3-5 weeks (though knowing my dad he'll have it on in 2). They want to change his dressing 2/3 times before he's discharged, so the absolute earliest he'll be out is tomorrow evening. If he's staying in then I'll go on with mum tomorrow evening to visit.

Away from this .. if I get my wage in early (ie on Saturday) then I'm gonna go to Bingo Saturday afternoon in Burnley. Emma at work has shown an interest in going with me, so I've to let her know what I'm going to do. I'm also heading over to Bradford next Saturday, then it's down to London the weekend after so it's kinda all go. Really need to look at the public transport actually for when I head to London, dad won't be able to take me and I can't really depend on mum to run me on. May mean me hanging around Burnley for an hour before my coach is due to leave but it'll have to be done.

Ban on smoking...

2006-02-15T11:07:07Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/4714992.stm

Health campaigners have welcomed a vote paving the way for a ban on smoking in all pubs, clubs and restaurants in England from the summer of 2007.
Deborah Arnott, of anti-smoking group Ash, said she was "amazed" and "very delighted" by the Commons decision.

MPs voted on Tuesday by a margin of 200 votes to impose a ban on smoking in all enclosed spaces, despite months of wrangling over the issue.

Opponents say the ban is an infringement of civil liberties.

Hotel rooms exempt

Labour MPs were given a free vote amid fears they could rebel against plans to exempt private clubs and non-food pubs.

The total ban will extend to all enclosed areas except private homes, residential care homes, hospitals, prisons and hotel bedrooms.

Health Secretary Patricia Hewitt said the change would "save thousands of people's lives".

However, many MPs opposed an outright ban on civil liberties grounds.

Cancer Research UK said it was the biggest step forward in public health for half a century while the British Heart Foundation described the decision as "the best possible Valentine's gift from MPs to bar workers".

Public health minister Caroline Flint told BBC News the ban would lead to a cultural change in England.

"We have this huge opportunity and we have got to make it work - to encourage more people to give up smoking, but also to create a different culture," she said.

Earlier, Ms Flint said fines for failing to stop people smoking in restricted areas would go up by more than 10 times from £200 to £2,500.

'Street smoking'

Simon Clark, director of smoking support group Forest, conceded that the pro-smoking lobby had "lost the battle but not necessarily the war".

"People will continue to smoke and the idea that people are all going to give up smoking simply because they can't smoke in a pub is nonsense," he told BBC News.

"But one of the problems with the ban when it comes in, will be that people will move into the street, they'll smoke more at home, and it could end up being counter-productive."

Chris Ogden, director of trade and industry affairs at the Tobacco Manufacturers Association, expressed his "disappointment" at the decision.

"It goes against the government's own manifesto commitment," he told BBC Radio Five Live.

"The fact is that many thousands, millions of adults will choose to smoke on an informed basis and we will continue to serve that market both domestically and globally."

'Undemocratic'

Alan Bowes, executive chairman of London and Edinburgh Swallow Group - one of the UK's biggest hotel and pub groups - vowed to challenge the ban in the courts.

He is already set to launch a legal challenge in the Scottish Parliament to the smoking ban in Scotland which is due to come into force on 26 March.

Mr Bowes, whose group operates 150 hotels and 700 pubs, said the ban was "undemocratic" because the Labour manifesto had not pledged an outright ban.

"We will fight this all the way to Europe as it will affect children because smokers will simply stay at home and light up in front of their kids," he said.

A total smoking ban is due to come into force in Northern Ireland in April, next year. The Health Bill gives the Welsh Assembly the right to decide for itself whether to implement a ban it has already twice approved in principle.

Three choices

The Cabinet originally proposed prohibiting smoking only in pubs serving food, in line with Labour's election manifesto.

Ministers then came up with three choices: a total ban; exempting private clubs; or exempting clubs and pubs not serving food.

MPs overwhelmingly voted for a complete ban with Prime Minister Tony Blair and Health Secretary Patricia Hewitt effectively voting against their own policy.

In the Commons votes, MPs first ended an exemption for pubs not serving food by 453 votes to 125, a majority of 328, and then to extend the ban to private clubs by 384 votes to 184, a majority of 200.

Shadow health secretary Andrew Lansley said ministers had "put forward proposals which their own backbenchers thought were completely unworkable" but he hailed the result as "a very important step".

And Liberal Democrat health spokesman Steve Webb hailed the result as "good news for the health and safety of people who work in public places."

Now, I'm a non-smoker but I think it's quite mad that smoking is being banned in public places. Sure, I hate the smell of smoke on my skin and in my hair after a night out BUT I expect it. It's part of going out.

Maybe I'm being small minded here (and probably opened a can of worms with this post) ... what do other people think??

Considering I don't really like Valentines day ....

2006-02-14T19:45:55Z

...I was really chuffed to receive these :)

No boyfriend has EVER bought me flowers before, never mind on Valentines Day!

It's only lunch and I'm sick of VD already!

2006-02-14T12:46:09Z

Yeah, ok, so it's supposed to be a romantic "lovey dovey" day. Maybe I'm in the elite here (you'd think so looking round at work) but why do people need 1 day to be romantic?? What happened to the other 364 days in the year??

Sure, I sent a little something to J and sent him a text this morning. But I'll tell you something, I don't stop at being romantic 3 days a year (today, birthday and christmas) ... it's something that should be done all year round, on a whim and because you simply feel like it. The postie hasn't been yet, but I know that J has sent me something (which I appreciate).

For all those who are like me ... visit the Be My Anti-Valentine website :) I got a card from there last year and think it's a wicked site :)

BTW .. hope everyone has their pin numbers to day! Yup, chip n pin is now in full swing as from today :p

Some things explain it all...

2006-02-14T08:14:50Z

The texts .... being sent to my OLD number. It appears he still has it programmed into his phone and when my new number was put in there, no one replaced it (keeping in mind that he's still getting the hang of using a mobile).

My mood yesterday ... look at today's date! After last year I've not really got fantastic associations with it (not that I actually had before). Obviously in the back of my mind.

My dream last night was way too weird too ... must get that blogged up next before I totally forget too.

Being British email

2006-02-12T20:38:28Z

I got a wicked email through the other day about Being British! The first part is fantastic .. it reads:

Being British....
......... is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.

Wales 28 - Scotland 18

2006-02-12T17:01:50Z

Until the last 5 minutes, Wales were winning easily! But Scotland .... OMG .... 2 tries in the last 5 and the final try was wicked!

I think it could be an interesting match in a couple of weeks for us.

GO ENGLAND!

2006-02-11T17:57:14Z

2nd match and 2nd win!

24-16 to us against Italy ... not sure who we play next weekend but I know that the main team we'll face a tough match with is France. Todays wasn't the easiest, we were losing at half time and looked as though we were going to lose the whole match but Matt Dawson is a little good luck charm :p

**EDIT**

Dad informed me that we scored again after I went to the post office (here was me thinking the match was over). So we won 31-16 in the end.

What a shame :p

Think this is French's match!

2006-02-11T14:18:55Z

At 29-3 against Ireland at half time ... think France will win this one!

Hell, after 10 mins they've won it!

**EDIT**

Hats off to Ireland for the comeback ... final score was 43-31 to France

Meme

2006-02-10T19:54:03Z

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.
Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out

Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking

What turns you off: fighting and conflict

Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

The thoughts of the afternoon...

2006-02-10T19:49:52Z

Apart from next week, my thoughts have been quite varied to be honest!

Been pondering on going into work on overtime over the weekend. There's some stuff I wanted to get done this week that I've simply been unable to get done. Mainly archiving stuff ... the top of the filing cabinets are piled high with Arch Lever files and it doens't look as though we're gonna get the extra shelf into the cabinet we've inherited any time soon.

Then there's been my weight, or more to the point my clothes when my sizes drop so much that the clothes I have a far too big to look right. My Simply Be catalogue is out unless REALLY desperate (which will be footwear more then anything). Plus there's the added fact that I really don't want to fork out money on clothes that I may either only wear once or will be too big for me a few months down the line. Evans tends to be pretty naff unless your between a 16 and 20 at the best of times. What am I opting for? The good old charity shops I'm thinking, or even Matalan. Cheap clothes! I'm not really that bothered about wearing second hand clothes (shoes yes, clothes no). Money is gonna be tight this year and what I don't need is expensive clothes (which seems to be the norm these days).

Hows the diet going? It seems to be going ok. I didn't get to class this week as it was 7pm before I left work, but I'm actually really proud of the fact that I've had NO chocolate or crisps in over a week. The sweets from class help loads at work, they are gums and you can get a pack of 3 for just under £2. Sugar free but gotta be careful how many I eat as they give me the runs if I eat a full tube (if you can call them that) all at once. Not gonna be able to buy more next week, but will the week after and get stocked up.

Also thought about holidays too. Been thinking about booking whit week off. I only use 4 days holiday as it's a bank holiday, and get a week off about half way through the year. HOPEFULLY it'll put me on til Christmas. Either that or I was thinking about August Bank Holiday week as whit week is right after Take That and I have a couple of weekends off already around then. Hmm, decissions decissions.

Talk about sods law!

2006-02-10T08:19:27Z

Ches is in the Champion of Champions in The Games this year ... and it's on a Friday ... and it's the day before I head to Sarah's.

Apart from it being on that weekend, I've got only 8½ days holiday left to take this year (got NO week's booked off yet PLUS I may need time off for Aerosmith and Leppard) and no real money to speak of for a hotel bill (got concert tickets for the above to buy when they are announced). So, Faye can't go.

I'm a little disappointed as I really did want to go, it was loads of fun last year (even though I came back ill) but it's also not the end of the world. I'm sure there'll be a gig that I CAN actually make this year, even if there isn't there's always next year.

Talking of Leppard and Aerosmith .... really hope there's at least 1 weekend date, with the rate my holiday is depleating I won't be able to make any mid-week. Got visiting London to think of!

stolen from deedee57

2006-02-08T20:05:14Z

If there is someone on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

I really hate it ...

2006-02-08T08:26:00Z

... when I'm not wanting to go into work! After yesterday I simply don't want to go in, the atmosphere all day wasn't nice at all.

Prft ... oh well, brekkie time I guess.

Hmm...

2006-02-07T12:38:33Z

Why is it that oversleeping always throws you?? 8.30am mum came in to check I was definately going to work ... I'd left my mobile on silent so never heard the alarm go off at 7.45am! DOH!

Anyways, it's totally thrown me and this morning at work I've simply not wanted to be there. It just seems to be one thing after another, and as much as I want to be out by 5pm today I just KNOW it's not gonna happen. This has pissed me off a little .. ok alot .. but there's really not much else I can do about it.

Away from work, I've been thinking more about the walks I posted about last night. Will email the guy on the website to ask for more info about it I think.

I can't wait for a nice massage either ... my back/shoulders are really tense. Not sure if it's stress, my posture when sat the the PC or a mix of the 2.

Right ... let's get that email written.

Anyone up for a walk??

2006-02-06T22:55:41Z

OK, so I'm planning ahead here! But I've been visiting the Diabetes UK website and there's some walking events to raise awareness.

I'm not half interested in the one in Leeds and Bradford ... both would be pretty easy to do and the buses wouldn't be too bad either. Hmmmm .... may even do both if I can get company.

The Half-Ton man

2006-02-06T22:17:13Z

That programme was scary ... really shocking and made me feel more like Twiggy.

Seriously though, I don't quite get how they can be at that size. I know I'm big, but geez ... I think if I ever got to half the weight most of the main people were I wouldn't want to live. It's really not much of a life at all.

I know I've covered the weight thing so many times in my journal entries, but my relationship with food is far from healthy. I could quite happily go to KFC and eat my way through a meal or 2 on the menu (the ones with the burgers and fries) and not really give it a second thought. I can go though so much chocolate in a day it's frightening. I love my fatty foods, my take outs and most other things that are unhealthy for me. In a way I actually can see how people get to be that size, mainly because I kinda see what it's like inside their heads (though you wouldn't catch me going through 24 chops or 20 hot dogs in 1 sitting).

Very very scary stuff if you think about it ... and the UK, as mentioned in the documentary, isn't really THAT far behind unfortunately.